SCAR Letter 5: When She Said You’ll Fall in Love

Listen.

She looked me dead in the eye and said:

“No, I don’t think we should go out—because you’ll fall in love.”

And I let her walk away.

I thought she was dismissing me.

But that wasn’t dismissal.

That was a shadow-test.

She wasn’t rejecting me.
She was checking:

Will this man crumble if I throw my shadow?

Will he shrink, or will he touch the part of me that wants to be seen?

I didn’t touch it.
I smiled.
Swallowed.
Stayed safe.

Later—I bragged about meeting her to one of my buddies.

And not long after, when I walked into his house to pick up a book he borrowed—

There she was.

Lying in his bed.
Clothes on but comfortable.
Already pulled into his orbit.

He hadn’t done magic.
He hadn’t cured cancer.

He just passed the test.

I didn’t.

And that’s what being the “good guy” gets you.

You become the spectator.

Other men write stories of passion—
while you’re left outside holding your invisible heart.

But here’s the sting:
that wasn’t my only chance.

Months later, in another town, during my first year of training, I ran into her again.

She invited me over.

Open door.

Wide open.

And still—
I didn’t check for polarity again.
I didn’t touch her shadow.

I stayed polite.
Safe.
Silent.

Two invitations.
Two doors wide open.
I missed both.

SCAR Principle #5

When a woman tests you with her shadow, silence is death.

You don’t have to win—
but you must touch it.

Because if you don’t,
she doesn’t think you like her at all.

That’s the scar.

Carved deep,
so you don’t repeat it.

“Politeness is the mask men wear before they disappear.”

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