SCAR Letter 8: From Playing It Safe to Being Seen - PG Version


Playing It Safe Keeps You Invisible

Listen up.

Most men spend their whole lives being safe.
Charming.
Agreeable.
Smiling.
Trying not to be too forward.

And then they vanish.

I did it with Carmen.

Walking on Myrtle Beach.
Holding her hand.
Waves breaking.
Moon bright.
The night was perfect.

But I never touched her depth.
I never crossed into her spark.

Eventually, another girl interrupted—
the whole mood collapsed.
The spark was gone.
And I was done for.

Years later, Cancun.
Me with Ruby.
Carmen with Raphael.

Raphael was my boy from med school.
He struggled like me—
but he never lost his center.
Never dropped his head.
Never let life crush him.

He didn’t waste time playing it safe.
He spoke with fire.
And Carmen let him in.

While I played nice.
While I stayed safe.
He reached her.
And he lit the spark.

That’s the scar:
safe will starve you out.
Safe men fade away.
Men who carry fire awaken the spark within.

SCAR Principle #8

If you keep playing it safe,
you’ll die of invisibility.

She’ll forget you.
She’ll file you away with all the other good guys.

But the man who speaks with fire—
he will be remembered.

That’s the scar.
Carved deep,
so you don’t repeat it.

—Uncle Woo

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